The Ultimate Men's Guide to Negotiating with Females

You cannot negotiate with a baby girl.

Oh, come on!  She just wants milk, diapers and a good burp every now and then.  Is that too much to ask?

You cannot negotiate with a female toddler 

Or risk drowning in her high-pitched screams.

You cannot negotiate with a little girl.. 

She's not going to walk out of the house wearing that blue dress even if you drag her by the hair.

You cannot negotiate with a teenage girl.

You don't want to lock horns with an angsty, antagonistic warrior with rhino hide and iron teeth.

You cannot negotiate with a precocious young lady.

She's just stepped out into the working world and is trying to prove her worth.  Stop telling her what she should do.  Like, seriously!

You cannot negotiate with a confident woman in her forties.

She's eaten more salt than you've eaten rice.  And she's also good friends with the HR director.

You cannot negotiate with an elderly woman.

It is a great virtue that one be found giving due respect (ie: the last say) to the elderly. 

You cannot negotiate with a woman before, during and after her period.  

Three enlightening letters that all men should know:  PMS

You cannot negotiate with a woman when she's pregnant.  

Its the baby who's craving for those double chocolate hot fudge brownies with vanilla ice cream and caramel sauce.

You cannot negotiate with a woman when she's having menopause.  

(see also: female toddler) With at least twice the fire power.

You cannot negotiate with a woman after menopause.  

She's rediscovering inner peace and must not be disturbed.  OR ELSE...

You cannot negotiate with a woman when she's in a good mood.

Or risk spoiling it.

You cannot negotiate with a woman when she's in a bad mood.

'Nuff said.

For everything else, there's Mastercard. :)

~mymien